I’m Scared

My Fluttershy

 


I’m scared that running my own business is not going to be possible.

I’m scared that my body can’t keep up with what my business needs.

I’m scared that, once again, my body will dictate what I can and cannot do in my life.

I’m scared of it taking away another thing I could have done, I could have been.

I’m scared that if I can’t work a traditional job and I can’t work from home that my only option is a purposeless life.

I’m scared of always being stuck at home, trapped, with nothing to look forward to each day but chores and just passing the time however I can until my husband comes home.

I’m scared of feeling like I don’t exist.

I’m scared to go back to where I’ve been.

I’m scared because it was not a happy place to be or a happy way to live.

I’m scared that it is all I have left.

I’m scared this means I can never have kids, neither my own or those I choose.

I’m scared this means that I can’t be a mom.

I’m scared of being fully dependent on someone else the rest of my life.

I’m scared of what would happen to me if my husband died suddenly.

I’m scared that this is all I get to be.

I’m scared.

4 Responses to I’m Scared
  1. Ashley DuBois
    July 26, 2012 | 7:39 pm

    I am truly sorry for all you have to go through. You are an amazing woman and it shows just how strong you are that you can admit that you are scared. Remember, you are loved, and that your husband chose you and made you have a purpose in life…..to love him and be loved in return!!

    • Amy Darigol
      July 26, 2012 | 6:12 pm

      It was hard to put this out there, but I made myself do it. My hubby said the same thing to me last night. Thank you for reminding me again. 🙂

  2. Libby
    July 26, 2012 | 7:48 pm

    I wish I could give you a big hug, and I hope that your body stops making things so difficult for you soon! 🙁

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